Lost

Here's my situation.

Secured  my first job in a big company right after my final exams. Quit my job after 3 weeks of work. Now I'm back to square one and I'm going through the whole sending resume and interviewing process all over again.

The people around me do know of my situation. Some have been really nice and have constantly shared job openings with me, others were kpo and asked why I quit my job and whether I've found a new job already. And I always feel rather awkward answering people. I mean I'm fine with sharing but it's not really nice to talk bad about others, especially since the industry's rather small. Some people have also been urging me to just settle for any job as the economy is getting worse by the day and I should not be picky anymore.

I'd like to take things in my own stride if possible.

After going for several interviews, somehow every job scope just doesn't appeal to me. I mean I do not mind doing those jobs but it is not something which I would love to do. Perhaps I'm being too idealistic as people often tell me it's very tough to find a job which I love. 

After the previous work stint, I'm really afraid of having to work under someone with total control over me again. Being thrown tasks to do, getting scolded for not doing it right, having no say in the things that have to be done. There's so many things that can be improved but I was scolded for suggesting new ways of doing things. I should have known. A newbie in the office should just be submissive and do things in the way it has been done for years. If it has been working all these years, why change?

Some people have thought that it is ridiculous of me to leave in such a short time. They tell me it's part and parcel of working life. Sups would never want the newbies to climb above them. Also, they'll not pass on all the knowledge they have for they might lose their role if the newbies outperform them. 

Am I too naive and idealistic? Is this how the corporate world functions? All these hierarchy and office politics. I was taught to challenge existing ways of doing things and improve on them when I was in school. I guess they do not apply to the real world. 

On a more positive note, I should be glad that I have more time to enjoy as this is the only holiday I have which I can play for as long as I want to. I'm gonna enjoy it and make full use of my time :) Meanwhile, I shall continue to hunt for jobs and I really hope to find one which I like soon. Job searching is such an agonising process but I shall stay positive. Go away negativity. Shoooo

Guiding principles to life