Cycle of Life and Death

We received news of a death today. It was an elderly relative who had been struggling with a long-term illness. His passing was quiet, he did not wake up from the semi-conscious state that he was in for the last few months. The silence with which he departed from this world was a stark contrast to the immense amount of anguish and grief that all who were dear to him had been experiencing. His wife, in particular, was sapped of energy. The constant vigil that she kept at his side in the hospital was physically, emotionally and spiritually draining.

A Buddhist master once remarked:

"Is it not strange that we celebrate the birth of a baby and mourn the death of an old man when the former has just stepped into suffering in this world and the latter out of it?"

Indeed, death and life seem to be intricately and inexorably linked in a perpetual dance. Life starts a new journey of exploration, growth and aging, culminating in sickness and eventually death. The dead return to the soil, nourishing the expanse of flowers and grass, and, through them, every single living thing. The endless cycle of death and life is a phenomenon that we powerlessly accept. The greatest kings, the strongest warriors, the hardiest labourers, they all cannot escape the beckoning of death. It is inevitable, unavoidable.

If ever there was a yardstick or a measure that is truly fair, death has got to be it. The lady of Justice may be blindfolded but Death is a step ahead. He does not even have eyes, ears or senses which can corrupt or bias his judgement. Big, small, strong, weak, fat, thin, young, old, male, female, white, black, He takes them all. Sadly, it is only in the presence of Death that all equality in humanity is restored.

It is perfectly natural for us, as human beings, to feel grief and sadness when our loved ones pass away. We have affection for the departed, a strong attachment of the heart and mind. The pain that arises when this attachment is forcibly torn from our hearts and minds strikes us hard and even renders us immobile. The pain invites confusion and stirs up many forms of negative feelings in us. Guilt, especially, is something that inflicts the greatest amount of suffering and anguish in all of us.

"I should have treated him better."

"If only I had been there more often for her when she was still well."

"He was a good man and deserved more than what we gave him."

Time heals the open wounds that guilt and the pain of loss inflict on mortal men like us. In time, the pain diminishes and for the fortunate, it even vanishes. For others, the pain fades but lingers as a soreness in one's heart and mind, refusing to go away.

However, just as Life gives way to Death, so too must Death relent when the time is right. And the cherubic angel of Life surely takes her turn on the stage as Death exits the spotlight.

It is crucial that we seek to understand the relationship between death and life, as well as the roles that they have in our lives and the Universe. For death and life are two forces that have, perhaps, the greatest impact on us mortals and can therefore lead us to reflect further on everything else that we can possibly fathom in our journey here in this world.